The Happenings of a Year or Two
by Vanilla Topping
Summary: [Oneshot. RoyEd] A few times I caught myself standing in front of his closed bedroom door wondering whether I should just go in...


**This is a strange fan fiction I wrote recently, there is minimal talk and because I've limited myself to use only the beautiful lyrics of "fra-foa"as dialogue. Because of this, the characters might be slightly OOC.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Full Metal Alchemist and am only attempting to satisfy my muse by doing a non-profit "what if" fan fiction.

Pairings are: Ed x Roy

* * *

Vanilla presents you with:

**The happenings of a year or two **

If you ask me how it happened I guess I don't know myself... perhaps it was when I lost Al to another one of my stupidities or maybe it was when I stepped out onto the veranda of that inn exactly two years ago. I had lost Al to a whirlpool or shadowy hands. Again. Do you know what it's like? To see the last of your family disappear before you? That's what I like about him, Roy I mean. He doesn't try to claim that he understands me 'cause he doesn't and never if I can help it.

It was one of the most... significant of all my memories. I can't say it wasn't painful but pain seems to be too shallow of a word. Roy understands that. He turned around and walked away, saving me additional shame when I had a serious nervous breakdown that day. Can you blame me? It isn't everyday that you lose your only younger brother.

He suggested that I take a break to a small out-of-the-way village named Pembella near the western border. Away from Central and Rockbell and Winry. Away from people who know me too well or know me at all. The whole office knew of this new plan, they even somehow managed to get a hold on my master's phone number and asked her to pick me up (probably not trusting me to be alone for too long).

My last day at the office before by break had been mundane, nothing happened, yet every strand of hair at the back of my neck stood on end as I felt the eyes of everyone looking at me with pity and concern. I hated it. Though it was amusing to see their expression when I stepped out of one of the change rooms wearing something other than the black jacket, pants and red cloak I usually have on. I know I must've reminded them that I was young, with the loud outfit I wore then. A long sleeved white shirt with black tattoo-like prints along the arms, a pair of worn jeans, my hair out of its usual plait and worn high in a ponytail. I looked exceptionally young and really, I couldn't have cared less about acting like an adult. There was nothing to act for.

Roy came to visit me about three weeks into my break, finding me at a cozy cottage where a widow had rented out one of her spare bedrooms to me and kindly provided me with three meals a day. No one in that village knew me and that was a blessing like none other. I could walk anywhere, do anything, say anything without people glancing at my watch. I was returning from one of these walks when I saw him waiting patiently out on the veranda on the double seated swinging bench.

He said something about me looking better and I replied something just as vague, only a step better than a comment on the weather. Instead I took a seat beside him on that bench and we fell into silence, not awkward silence mind you. It was... comfortable.

After who knows how long I felt him reach an arm around me pulling me closer. I let him.

"I'm afraid with no place to go someday you'll disappear," he said against my hair. I said nothing in return and felt a warm breath of air blowing against my hair as he let out a sigh. What was I supposed to say? Don't let go of me, Roy? I'm not into wishy washy crap like that.

The visit was only for a day and at the first signs of the new day, he left me to my so-called "healing process" in solitude.

Everyday I woke to the rich aroma of fresh coffee, bread and butter. It was all too much, too comfortable and becoming too much like home. I don't think the old lady knew, but it was her kindness that made me do what I did.

Fresh blood in water is a brilliant and breathtaking red, did you know? The feel of steel cutting into flesh is blunt and not as acutely painful as people think. The smell of blood is a tangy metallic stench that clings to the walls and leaks out from the gaps under the locked doors. It was this smell that gave me away, I guess. Just as I was finally slipping into unconsciousness I felt arms grab my arms, pulling them out of the water filled bathtub where I was kneeling before.

The next time I woke I was staring at a white ceiling with none of the damp splotches I remembered the cottage had. The hand around mine tensed as I struggled to get up. Turning, I saw Roy who firmly pushed me back down on the bed, covering my eyes with his right hand. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep had been "If you can't find anything else, why not live for me?" I guess if I was anything less of utterly exhausted I might have died of shock, this wasn't the Roy I knew.

Even now, I'm still amazed that he had endured the trouble of visiting me regularly every day at exactly noon to give me a stack of paperwork that any officer could have delivered and a look that gave warmth to the tips of my toes. My strength returned pretty quickly and I didn't need him to hold me to get around anymore. The nurse who treated me was also happy with my recovery and walking in and out of my patient room I would often hear her humming or singing to herself. She had a beautiful voice which was brought out especially in one of the songs she often sang, he could only remember a few lines, one of the most memorable was, "So, now hold me, hold me strongly because this body has no meaning. Just wrap me in your warmth."

I really wanted to get out of that hospital after a week, but day after day he came. We hardly talked and sometimes the silence was awkward but I gritted my teeth and bore it. As if I'd let him see that he's gotten under my skin! NO WAY! So you can imagine my shock when during one of these silences he suddenly said, "That face you showed me suddenly..." I wasn't quite sure what he was referring to but a glance at the report he was holding explained it.

It was the report I handed in myself containing my success in finally creating a philosopher's stone.

I didn't need him to tell me, I could imagine what my face must have looked like. Ecstatic, excited, relieved, shamelessly proud of my own genius. What a fool I was. Another reason I wanted to get out of this place was because the people around me cared too much. The nurses asked things like "What did you lose?" thinking that that would comfort me. It doesn't. There's a telephone here too, and that's another object on my, to-destroy list. I get phone calls from Winry and granny Pinaco saying things like "Are you now smiling?" Unlike Roy they try too hard to understand me and comfort me.

Although I did leave that hospital I still wasn't trusted enough to be on my own: I was to stay at Roy's. It went well, believe it or not. I stayed away from his study, leaving for the office early and coming back late from the library. I don't cook and he didn't either so we both made an unspoken agreement to eat breakfast on the way to work and to grab dinner on the way back. A few times I caught myself standing in front of his closed bedroom door wondering whether I should just go in and say thanks for letting me stay here or to kick it down in frustration at my situation. I was being treated like glass and I didn't like it.

This happened again one Monday night. Only this time Roy actually opened the door. He wasn't supposed to do that, at least not without warning. (Yes I'm not being reasonable but who the hell cares) I remember standing there like a fish out of water, my mouth opening and closing a few times but nothing came out. Finally I manages a thanks but was cut off with an abrupt, "You don't have to say anything else just having you by my side is enough" from him. Was it then that I fell for him?

I was lead into his bedroom, uncertain, nervous and (Yes, I'll admit) scared because as much as I hadn't had an official sex education I knew enough to sense what was going to happen. But since I'd already stepping into his room I wasn't going to back out.

He slid a finger down my cheek, it was ticklish sending shivering sensations down my spine. As the finger reached my chin it tilted my face upwards and I felt with my eyes closed, his lips on mine. It was hardly a kiss, more like a light touch. His hands slid my jacket off my shoulders and I could feel the coarseness of his gloves on my left arm. He was pressing more kisses on my neck pausing at times to suck and bite gently while I clung to him and muffled my moans in his hair. He whispered in my ears words I've never had said to me before, words that made me hot and my pants tight. "So, I want to hold you strongly because I don't need there to be any value in it. If only your hollowness could be filled just by my blood" he said to me as he kissed the metal of my right arm. It was truthful because what value was there here? What could fill the missing family of mine? These gaps in my life?

The gentle kisses were growing fierce as the continued their journey lower, biting on my nipples and licking a wet trail down my stomach. Fear kicked in again when I was reminded of what was going to happen with the sound of my pants being unzipped. I had squeezed my eyes shut and just waited for whatever he was going to do when I surprised me again my saying "You know, one day if you die, I'll take your corpse to my chest and forever my love, I'll pet your hair," and he did, "I'll touch your cheek," he placed a kiss there "and then I'll eat you up" and before what I realised what he just said I was over flooded with heat, uncontrollably I attempted to thrust deeper into that warmth but he held me still with his arms. With each lick I lost a bit more control until I was mumbling a string of words not in anyway cohesive. I soon reached my limit.

Reaching up he kissed me hard and open mouthed allowing me to taste myself and when he said, "So, now I want to hold you tightly, your smile, your emptiness, your tears," I let him.

"I'd like to have you in my arms, your chest quivering as your breathing grows sparse," he said and I teased him breathlessly, asking just whose arms was I in right now? He laughed and taking off his gloves, he now touched me with his bare hands. Smooth, soft, gentle caresses everywhere. This was not the hero of some bloody war, this was a man whose soul was just as lost as mine. I recognised the look in his eyes, asking for more and I felt my lips curve into a thin smile as I repeated the words he's already said so many times to me.

"So now hold me, hold me strongly, if this body has any meaning," I said, "I will hurt and love the certainty deep in my heart, only with you."

* * *

**A/N:**

Phew! My first songfic completed and posted! I don't fancy the chunk-of-lyrics-followed-by-story style of songfics so I did mine this way. Because of the R rating limitation I can't post anything more explicit than this.However, I do have a NC-17 sequel that can be found on my homepage in my profile.

I like to experiment. Very much. Sorry if this wasn't your taste. As always reviews will be cherished!

**The following are not mine:**

Artist: Fra-Foa  
Title: Light of Sorrow  
Words: Mikami Chisako  
Music: Mikami Chisako

I'm afraid with no place to go someday you'll disappear.

If you can't find anything else,  
why not live for me

So, now hold me hold me strongly  
because this body has no meaning  
just wrap me in your warmth.

That face you showed me suddenly,  
what did you lose? Are you now smiling?

You don't have to say anything else  
just having you by my side is enough

So, I want to hold you strongly  
because I don't need there to be any value in it.  
If only your hollowness could be filled just by my blood.

You know, one day if you die  
I'll take your corpse to my chest  
and forever my love, I'll pet your hair  
I'll touch your cheek, and then I'll eat you up.

So, now I want to hold you tightly  
your smile, your emptiness, your tears  
I'd like to have you in my arms,  
your chest quivering as your breathing grows sparse.

So now hold me, hold me strongly  
if this body has any meaning  
I will hurt and love the certainty  
deep in my heart, only with you.

**Translated By: Brian Stewart Takako Sakuma (centigrade-j . com)  
**


End file.
